Anonymous asked:
What do you call a girlfriend who doesn't "feel like" fucking for almost two months? A ROOMMATE!

princeburrito:

dirtyberd:

What do you call a partner who probably isn’t satisfying their girlfriend’s emotional needs to the point where she isn’t turned on by them anymore because they don’t understand that arousal starts way outside of the bedroom? YOU.

boom. shotgunned.

dutchsheerio:

meow-sheeran:

how does ed manage to look perfect in every single picture that get’s taken of him

image

flowury:

sleepy boys are the best because they have cute messed up hair and squishy tired cheeks and little droopy eyes and are at their most vulnerable making it easier to kill them

hex-girlfriend:

i’m still pissed off about growing up

silohouettes:

The difference between period pains and getting kicked in the balls is that one is a compulsory monthly event, and the other one is probably because you were being a dick.

samclafs:

the level of fierceness in this one gif is overwhelming 

hot-potato-cold-bazooka:

hot-potato-cold-bazooka:

So I’m moving into a new apartment, and I was told that the room had been damaged, but nothing could have prepared me for the fact that someone had carved Li Shang’s head out of the bathroom door and written “We must defeat the Huns!” on it.

image

unclefather:

i love that kids don’t understand the concept of money. i heard a kid at walmart today grab a bag of beef jerky and say “i’m just going to have this” and when his mom said “you can’t just take that” he said “who is going to stop me”